Monitor your speech for a day. What you say is being recorded by angels. What do you think they are writing about you?
I think I say a lot of useless things. I still have to learn how to stay quiet and appreciate silence. When I do speak, I realize that it is often to voice my own opinion, and quite rarely to enjoin good. I try to compliment people, and to appreciate them. Sometimes I am a little rude to my mother, for which I feel very bad afterwards, therefore some part of my speech is also apologies! Alhamdolillah, there is a part of my speech where I praise Allah SWT , outloud as well as inwardly.
This is a tough reflection question! To sincerely critically analyze yourself is the hardest especially in terms of speech especially for a talkative person like me! Few conclusions for myself: The first day I analyzed myself, the next day I tried to act on changing the strategy a bit to see the difference.
- Not everything is to be spoken about. I can and should remain quiet instead of giving an opinion.
There are 3 areas where this has actually helped me contrary to when I spoke in response; I ended up saying things that were hurtful, unnecessary and fall in the state of backbiting.
- In an argument. When I went quiet, there was no more argument. Otherwise angels recorded that this person argues too much and the choice of words is not what a Believer should be using.
- When I was being blamed for something. I didn’t clarify or justify my position even though I knew I was right. I didn’t try to prove I was right. Otherwise angels recorded previously that this person wants to create fasad and was ungrateful.
- All emotions that are suppressed become grudges or negatives. Once you start talking, you end up saying a lot more than required. Going quiet actually served to relieve me of the negative ill feeling against a person or situation. The angels then start recording at a very fast pace!
- In a situation where I was hurt. Before I would complain and at least harshly react. Instead, I removed myself from the situation, shed a few tears and said: Hasbunallah ho wa naimul wakeel. Few seconds later, I realized, the anger had disappeared and I was able to face the person again with a smile on my face, with them not even realizing how much they had hurt me with their action. Angels must have now recorded that this person endured. Also the complain was then directed to Allah like Yaqub AS instead to people. I had vented but to the right Being.
- Not only do I have to control the speech, I have to control the intonation of the speech also. Usually I am saying the right thing, but I say it with an impact that the other perceives as very commanding or authoritative. So I need to change that and mellow down the speech a bit. A friend of mine puts it nicely. She says : Think before you utter your words, add 2 tsp of honey in it! It will come out all sweet!
Another very motivating ayah we recently covered in a previous lesson on speech was: Surah Yusuf: 77 Fa assaraha Yousufu fi nafsihi wa lam yubdiha lahum. (Hearing this Yusuf suppressed his feelings and did not reveal anything to them. For a person like me, it was very difficult to do.
This lesson and question made me realize that speech is a muscle. Just go quiet is a skill we have to voluntarily practice otherwise it will not just happen. The result of which are positive, because when you choose to go quiet as opposed to respond with a speech, you end up saying a lot more than needed. Because then I start venting, and that is a dangerous practice. In this lesson we also learned Allah says Surah Raad:11 : InnAllaha la yughairru ma biqaumi hatta yughairru ma bi anfusihim. (The fact is that Allah never changes the condition of a people until they intend to change it themselves.) I have to bring about the change in each aspect of my life including the speech to better all other areas of the life. May Allah give us the istiqamat to continue to hang on to this practice at each and every situation. Ameen.
I think if I thought that my speech was being recorded every second of the day then I would be VERY, VERY careful of what came out of my mouth. For example, when we know someone is taking our video we become so conscious and careful about our every move. We want to look and behave our best. So likewise we need to be very conscious of every deed we do and our speech.I believe some contents of my speech (that I would not be proud of) would include: sometimes yelling at my kids, telling off maids, being rude to someone who is not being very nice, or telling someone how someone else was rude to me! I think I need to be consciously aware that everything that I say is being recorded. If I am able to accomplish that, then I believe I will be more careful in monitoring my speech Inshallah!
Due to the fact that it’s the month of Ramadan, I am extremely careful about the words that come out of my mouth and the manner in which I speak to people. So my speech today was ok. I didn’t really interact with many people : just my classmates, teachers and family. On other days however my speech isn’t so good, especially with my family. I’ll talk nicely with people until they may be rude with me. Its pretty scary when I think about the angels writing every word I utter when I’m angry. I would be ashamed if I found out anyone (besides my family), seeing me in a state of anger. This is the exact state that the angels witness and record. I should feel even more ashamed knowing that Allah is watching me in this state. This should be enough to keep me from speaking in a wrong manner. At moments of anger , its always better to remain silent than to say anything wrong.
A Student of the Quran