Do I despair of Allah’s mercy or do I turn to Him humbly and with repentance?
I think often times I don’t even realize when I have committed a sin, but we should always remember to ask forgiveness because something done even out of negligence might be displeasing to Allah SWT. Alhamdulillah we are able to avoid most major sins, but usually it’s the little ones that get us. The Prophet SAW warned us to repent for small sins, because they will appear as a mountain on the Day of Judgment if forgiveness is not sought in time (i.e. before death).There has to be a balance when repenting, not to despair thinking Allah would never forgive us, and nor being too arrogant thinking Allah will definitely forgive us.
Allah SWT mentions again and again that He is Most forgiving and Most merciful, His Mercy exceeds His wrath. After all, according to the gist of a hadith ninety-nine parts of Allah’s Mercy are reserved for Akhira and only one part is for duniya. But at the same time we have to remember that His punishment is the most painful.
We should never give up thinking we are beyond being saved, because we have the opportunity to repent right up until the time of death. Often people stop whatever good they are doing thinking they are beyond help, when in reality this is only a trap of shaitan.The doors or repentance are open to us till the end of our lives.
When I commit a sin, I feel a burden, and that burden does not leave me until I have sought Allah’s forgiveness. I feel so far away from Allah SWT and it is an agonizing feeling. When I repent, however, and sometimes it takes more than once, or the doing of a good deed to counter it, I feel peace and tranquility cover me. SubhanAllah, such is the power of Allah’s mercy.
Allah has said “I am as My servant expects Me to be”, i.e. if we believe He will forgive us then He will be Forbearing towards us. The element of belief in Allah’s mercy is essential in seeking forgiveness. Allah’s mercy is always near, provided one repents to Him sincerely and stops doing whatever sin one is doing.
Something about Allah’s existence – His Power, His Might, the proof of His Creations is a constant reminder that there is no way we can and should despair of Allah’s Mercy. A Being such as Allah who creates with the phrase of “ Kun,” anything is possible with him. All we have to do is submit sincerely and He promises He is there to guide us, to help us.
Allah is Ar-Rahman, Ar-Raheem. He forgives. He loves to be called out to. Alhumdullillah, Allah’s justice is so great that He has laid out the criteria that we need to follow in order to attain His pleasure and Mercy. What more do we want? We need to turn to Him humbly with repentance. Definitely, Qur’an softens hearts. It has softened mine and provided healing especially when I thought myself to be constrained. Allah helped me find a way. I cannot despair of Allah’s Mercy. It is because of Allah’s Mercy that I am able to study the Qur’an. I have no other way but to humbly turn to Him in repentance and shukr.
Even when I hadn’t come to the Qur’an, I advised everyone to do istikhara. And the general reply I got was, oh but we are such big sinners, why would Allah help us by giving us an answer to an istikhara. Yes we sin day in and day out, but He forgives. He continues to provide for us even when we are ungrateful. The Qur’an is filled with descriptions of how Allah is Akbar and He is beyond all that we can do for Him. We can never do enough or repay or be thankful enough of His blessings. That is why He is Rabb and we are servants. We can ALWAYS ask of Him. All we need to do is to be fair in our dealings with Him. We need to give Him His due haq with what He asks of us. If we are unable to give complete haq, at least we should try and that is the least we can do. Those who despair of Allah’s Mercy have yet to connect with their Creator.