Ibrahim (A.S.) maintained good ikhlaq with his father even though his father was wrong. How is my ikhlaq in such situations? What can I do to improve it?
Throughout the lesson that I kept thinking about my own relationship with my mother. When Ibrahim (A.S)’s father did not accept Tauheed and agree to whatever he was saying, as a respectful son, Ibrahim (A.S.) didn’t argue or force his father to believe. He continued showing respect to his father and kept talking in a loving tone.
When I tell my mom about the teachings of Islam and she doesn’t immediately accept , I tend to become forceful and get angry. Recently , when I was telling my mom that first the missed fasts of Ramadan have to be kept and then the fasts of Shawwal and she didn’t agree, I got kind of angry and my tone was disrespectful . I displayed the exact opposite behavior that Ibrahim (A.S.) did.
The lesson today did strike me a lot and taught me a very great lesson of how my relationship with my parents should be. Though my parents may at times follow wrong practices, Alhamdulillah I don’t have to worry about them being disbelievers. Ibrahim (A.S.) had a disbelieving father yet he showed a great deal of respect to him.
If my parents are on the wrong side and I know it, I should try telling them about the correct teaches in a respectful manner. If they do not agree, I shouldn’t be forceful and should avoid arguing. I can make mention of the situation at another time.
I should constantly remind myself that the importance of doing Ihsan with parents comes next to worshipping Allah alone. Obeying my parents would be obeying Allah and vice versa.
What really hit me in today’s lesson was when our teacher told us that if one is obedient and respectful to ones parents then Allah bestows upon such a person righteous offsprings. I should remind myself that I should treat my parents the same exact way I would want my children to treat me. Mostly people have their children treating them the same exact way that such people have treated their own parents.
I also made dua today asking Allah sincerely for the Taufeeq to treat my parents respectfully because this can only be made possible through desire, effort and the Taufeeq of Allah.
A Student of the Quran
SubhanAllah surah Maryam is really one about a parent child relationship. Through mention of ambiya(Prophets) Allah makes us analyze our own relationships. I suppose situations where I am right and my mother is explicitly wrong arise rarely, if at all, but there are certainly situations where we both disagree about things. Subhanallah, not more than an hour after our class, I was tested with such a situation. I tried my best to keep my cool and not be disrespectful, as these very ayahs came into my mind, how successful I was , only my mother can tell!:)
Of course every relationship changes with time, and I think back to how we used to be, and how when I got older I started to disagree and argue with her. Alhamdulillah I think I don’t argue with her anymore, but I do still show my anger through my actions, which I regret later on, but can’t tell her about.
I can try to remember Allah and seek His protection every time I feel my anger mounting, or I can leave the room or situation. Of course anger against parents is never ever justified, because they only want what is best for us, which is something I can remind myself. Another reminder would be telling myself that all my good deeds could go to waste (Allah forbid) if I talk back to my mother or I am disrespectful towards her.
- I need to incorporate more duas that ask Allah for good ikhlaq and character. The dua for looking in the mirror comes to mind.
- I need to remember that whatever I do I do for Allah’s sake not my own sake.
- Self restraint is a key to maintaining good akhlaq.
- Smiling more often leads to a better disposition.
- Remembering jahannum makes one humble and automatically relieves the mind of arrogance which is the main cause of bad akhlaq.
- Saying sorry and admitting mistakes immediately.