بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I am a student of the Qur’an. I attend class in the mornings and in the evenings I give tuitions to young children. Recently, I put an ad up for tuitions for girls from 5-6 of age. For the longest time, no one responded to my ad and I felt it was because Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) knows how horrible I am with money, so He does not want me to earn any. He knows in the ways I will spend it and it will not be according to what He is most pleased with.
Finally one day, I received not one, but two students and suddenly became very busy and very happy.
I began making a handsome amount of money and became very extravagant in the sense that I would throw my money around without thinking twice. I began planning in advance what I would buy the next month. Everyday for dinner I would eat out, which was thinning my wallet but doing the opposite to my waistline! I conveniently forgot how low I had felt when I did not have any kids to tuition.
Then, suddenly, both students backed out at the same time, leaving me in a sort of a depression and no money. I felt maybe I was doing something wrong while I was tutoring them, and their moms maybe didn’t like my style of handling kids. This depression even turned into anger, as I told myself that I didn’t need them. I have my Bachelors in Psychology and I could get any student I wanted. I also felt that maybe Allah was angry with me for how I had been behaving. Lately, I had been so busy and self-absorbed with spending the money I thought I earned myself.
This entire situation I found myself in made me stop and think. “Why am i even running after the money? What is the end result of this striving?”
When a person is upset often it is also when he/she is closest to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) and comes to simple realizations. I soon understood there must be some bigger reason as to why what I had was suddenly snatched away. It was to make me realize that perhaps I am running after things that will not benefit me in terms of akhirah. Also the real gratitude for a blessing is to use it in the way most pleasing to Allah!
وَمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَلَا أَوْلَادُكُم بِالَّتِي تُقَرِّبُكُمْ عِندَنَا زُلْفَى إِلَّا مَنْ آمَنَ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَأُوْلَئِكَ لَهُمْ جَزَاء الضِّعْفِ بِمَا عَمِلُوا وَهُمْ فِي الْغُرُفَاتِ آمِنُونَ
“For, it is neither your riches nor your children that can bring you nearer to Us: only he who attains to faith and does what is right and just [comes near unto Us]; and it is [such as] these whom multiple recompense awaits for all that they have done; and it is they who shall dwell secure in the mansions [of paradise].”
Alhumdulillah, I soon realized my mistakes and how Allah is helping me learn and rectify my ways through this situation. I have learned my lesson for life.