بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
وَالْمُطَلَّقَاتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلاَثَةَ قُرُوَءٍ وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللّهُ فِي أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُواْ إِصْلاَحًا وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ وَاللّهُ
“Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.”
[Al-Qur’an: Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow) – 2:228]
In marriage or in any other relationship, do I focus on rights due to me or do I give others rights as well?
I think in reality, I do both yet I feel the best way to keep myself happy would be to keep my list of expectations reasonable. After all, if I do not fulfill other’s rights, how can I expect others to fulfill mine?
Although forgiveness may seem very difficult, I know that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) loves those who forgive, and if we forgive, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) will give us the reward for being patient and for the forgiveness. Also, we should not harbor grudges, because they only tend to contaminate our heart. When there is something bad we should move away from it and distance ourselves from it, all the while being mindful of the other person’s right. May Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) protect us all from injustice and from doing injustice towards others, especially in terms of their rights. Aameen.