بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
How has the Qur’an changed me?
Well this is a tough question! I think I have transformed into a much better human being, in the past 5 months than the past several years. Qur’an has brought out the good in me and removed confusion and fear of this Dunya (world). Now I fully realise the things that I would just be uttering before, without understanding. I have become grateful for the blessings I would often feel insecure about, and my desire to use these to please Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) has increased, instilling a renewed confidence in me. I have become quite grateful even for the difficult times; not that I enjoy them but I appreciate the after-effect. Quran has helped me break the shell that often forms over my heart. This allows me to connect with Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) directly.
Holding onto the Qur’an does not mean you will be the happiest person in the world but it means that even at the lowest of times you will at the very least be patient, content and hopeful for Allah (سبحانه وتعالى )’s Mercy. It keeps you afloat, doesn’t let you drown in self-pity and guides you through hard times. As the Prophet (صلي اللهُ عليهِ وسلم) said,
“Indeed this Qur’an is a rope one end of it is in the Hand of Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) and the other end is in your hands. So hold firmly to it that you would never go astray and never be destroyed.”
Surah Al-e-Imran, verse 103 Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) says,
وَاعْتَصِمُواْ بِحَبْلِ اللّهِ جَمِيعًا وَلاَ تَفَرَّقُواْ
“…hold firmly to the Rope of Allah altogether and do not become divided….”
I have come to the realisation that the friendships you make in the way of Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) are better than any other kind of friendship.
فَتَقَبَّلَهَا رَبُّهَا بِقَبُولٍ حَسَنٍ وَأَنبَتَهَا نَبَاتًا حَسَنًا وَكَفَّلَهَا زَكَرِيَّا كُلَّمَا دَخَلَ عَلَيْهَا زَكَرِيَّا الْمِحْرَابَ وَجَدَ عِندَهَا رِزْقاً قَالَ يَا مَرْيَمُ أَنَّى لَكِ هَـذَا قَالَتْ هُوَ مِنْ عِندِ اللّهِ إنَّ اللّهَ يَرْزُقُ مَن يَشَاء بِغَيْرِ حِسَابٍ
“So her Lord accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner and put her in the care of Zechariah. Every time Zechariah entered upon her in the prayer chamber, he found with her provision. He said, “O Maryam, from where is this [coming] to you?” She said, “It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account.” [Al-Qur’an – Surah Al-e-Imran: 37]
I gained many supporters, friends and role models through learning the Qur’an, including those not even my contemporaries. I especially connected with Maryam (عليها السلام) as a role model, and learnt that Imaan (faith) is such a strong and valuable thing that it can cross even a distance of several thousand years.
اللّهُ لاَ إِلَـهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ الْحَيُّ الْقَيُّومُ لاَ تَأْخُذُهُ سِنَةٌ وَلاَ نَوْمٌ لَّهُ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الأَرْضِ مَن ذَا الَّذِي يَشْفَعُ عِنْدَهُ إِلاَّ بِإِذْنِهِ يَعْلَمُ مَا بَيْنَ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمَا خَلْفَهُمْ وَلاَ يُحِيطُونَ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنْ عِلْمِهِ إِلاَّ بِمَا شَاء وَسِعَ كُرْسِيُّهُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالأَرْضَ وَلاَ يَؤُودُهُ حِفْظُهُمَا وَهُوَ الْعَلِيُّ الْعَظِيمُ
“Allah – there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of [all] existence. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is [presently] before them and what will be after them, and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills. His Kursi extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not. And He is the Most High, the Most Great.” [Al-Qur’an – Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow): 255]
Through Ayaat ul Kursi I realised the extent of Allah (سبحانه و تعالى ) who put things into a better perspective for me. I wanted a best friend since childhood, someone I could trust fully; but no one quite lived up to my expectations. During this journey of learning the Qur’an, I realized that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) is that best friend and I if I want to talk to Him regularly in the Hereafter, then I must make Him my best friend in this life. No human can fit that criterion of a perfect friend.
I often enjoy being alone but there are always moments where you wish you were with someone. Knowing Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) is always there, gaining this realisation of Him as a friend, solved this problem completely. I prefer no one else’s company. I still have a very long way to go, and a lot to improve, but I have strengthened hope now that I will get closer and closer to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ), Insha’Allah.
I have stopped worrying about this dunya (world) as much as I used to. I can just taste Jannah (Paradise) to the point where I sometimes want death to come, but then I get worried about whether I have pleased Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) yet.
And I often think about how I could have been somewhere else right now, missing out on all this knowledge, not learning the kalam (word) of Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ). I could have been completely misled. Alhamdulillah that Allah (سبحانه وتعالى ) guided me to the Qur’an and may He continue to guide us all, Ameen!